33 Weeks

33 1/2 Weeks

Total weight gained so far: 12 pounds

My feet have started swelling...not pretty!

I had some contractions last week but I'm not dilated; baby is just getting low.

Infertility: What Does This Have to Do with You?

Most women will never experience infertility personally. However, I’m sure that all of you have known someone who has experienced it. Maybe you wonder what to say to them or if it’s ok to ask questions? What about announcing your own pregnancy or bringing your own children to visits and lunches? How should you act around someone going through infertility?


Every woman who experiences infertility is different so I can only speak for myself. If I could give those around me four bits of advice concerning how to be sensitive to my situation it would be these:

1} Don’t give advice, especially if you’ve never experienced infertility yourself. David and I told very few people about our situation while we were experiencing it. This was mostly because I couldn’t handle all the advice thrown my way when people did find out what we were going through. I know everything said was said with love and was meant in the best way and I tried to take it as such but getting advice (i.e. take an ovulation test, make sure the timing is right, “maybe you’re doing it wrong”) just made me feel like those around me were implying it was my fault that I wasn’t pregnant.

2} Don’t ignore infertility. I was grateful when those who knew what we were going through asked us questions about it instead of trying to steer clear of the topic. When they asked questions I felt like they cared and really wanted to know how I was doing.

3} Getting pregnant doesn’t mean your struggles with infertility are over. While David and I now have a slightly higher chance of conceiving on our own, we still have to realistically face that it may not happen. We have to plan for insurance in case we need to do IVF again meaning I probably have to go back to work after I have this baby. We have to decide how long to try naturally before we try IVF again and we have to realize that our dreams of a large family are probably not going to happen. I am so grateful for the one the Lord has given us, but I still cried when I recognized that getting pregnant didn’t mean this was over.

4} Love your children. In our society it seems like it has become common place, or even expected, for mothers and fathers to talk about how horrible their child is or how bad parenting can be. How many times was I told by parents, “Well, you can have my kids if you want them.” I know parenting is hard and I’m sure sometimes I’ll fall into the pattern of bemoaning being up all night or not showering for days but I really hope that the majority of the time when I talk about my child I mention the good things and not the bad.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Every Baby Is a Miracle

“Behold, I and the children whom the Lord hath given me are for signs and for wonders in Israel from the Lord of Hosts….” 2 Nephi 18:18

Where do babies come from? It’s the question every parent expects to hear one day and the question we all hope we never have to answer. Unless, of course, you’re like David and I. We look forward to the day when our child inevitably asks where she came from and we can explain to her the story of her conception. We will tell her how Heavenly Father answers prayers and how He provides blessings during trials. We will describe how much we wanted her and how lucky we feel to have her in our family.

Where do babies come from? For us, they come from a multitude of prayers, years of waiting, lots of medication, even some laughter, and, of course, a great insurance policy.

 BEFORE:

Lots o' Needles



AFTER:

30 Weeks Along (I look way tired in this picture...probably because I was)

Weight gained so far: 9 lbs

I had my first craving last week: jalapenos

Baby is moving around a lot and waking mommy up early in the morning.

We had a doctor's appointment last week and was told she is a "bum shaker" (just like her cousin Mabel).

Found my first stretch marks two days ago.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Pregnancy Test Results

“And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed upon us? Can ye tell?” (Alma 26:2)

The two weeks between the embryo transfer and our pregnancy test were some of the longest of my life. We were hoping for the best but in the back of our minds expecting the worst. I didn't want to get me hopes up.

When two weeks had (finally) past, we went to our clinic for a blood pregnancy test. Due to the types and amount of drugs you have in your system from IVF you need to have three separate blood pregnancy tests performed to insure you are pregnant and not just “drugged up.”

While signing in at our clinic we were told they had just gotten a new computer system that morning. We didn’t think much of this and completed our blood test and went home. We were told our results would be sent to our IVF clinic and they would be in-touch with us around four that afternoon.

By four-thirty we still hadn’t received a call. I called our IVF nurse but she had already left for the day. David called the on-call nurse at our clinic to see if they could tell us our results. Both of us couldn’t believe it when we learned that, because of the new computer system installed that morning, our results had been lost and we would need to wait until the morning to find out if we were pregnant or not. Oh no, you did not just tell me you lost my pregnancy test results! I could have screamed…ok, so I did scream. I was so entirely frustrated.

Finally, our IVF nurse called us back and told us to go ahead and take an at-home pregnancy test just so we didn’t go crazy. We knew the results wouldn’t be definitive but she told us they would give us some indication (i.e. if the test was negative we almost certainly were not pregnant).

I went upstairs and took a pregnancy test just waiting for only one line to show up. And then there were two lines. I couldn’t believe it. I slowly walked downstairs and told David the test was positive. We both broke down sobbing. We held each other for a long time and I remember whispering repeatedly, “Please let this be real, please let this be real.” We cried and we laughed and we called our parents to let them know. The next day we received the news that, yes, our blood pregnancy test had come back as a definite positive. We were pregnant.

“And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed upon us? Can ye tell?” (Alma 26:2)

I included the song below because of the last verse. It reminds me so much of the night we found out we were pregnant.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Tender Mercies

{God often grants us the most tender of mercies in the midst of our darkest trials; the difficulty is to notice the light in the darkness.}

“The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works (Psalms 145:9).”

After my egg extraction, I was put on progesterone shots for a month. These shots help your body prepare for and maintain a pregnancy. The progesterone shot was extremely scary for both David and I for several reasons. First, the medication was in oil form causing it to take longer to move from the syringe into my body. This also caused large pockets of hard, painful spots under my skin where each shot had been given. Additionally, the needle was much bigger. Finally, the most worrisome thing about the progesterone shot was that it had to be intramuscular, meaning not only under the skin but in the muscle as well. Because of this, David had to give the shot to me correctly. If he didn’t there were a lot of things that could go wrong.

When David asked one of our nurses for help in finding the right spot to give me these shots she laughed. She grabbed a permanent marker and told me to pull down my pants. Then she drew two circles on my rear end with the permanent marker, showing David exactly where to give me my shots. David and I laughed so hard to have me walking around drawn all over with a permanent marker. It definitely helped ease the tension of having to take my shots.

Still, when it came time to take the first progesterone shot we were both scared. David suggested we say a prayer beforehand and I agreed. He prayed that the Lord would help him give me the shot, that his hand would be steady, that he would do it right, and that it wouldn’t hurt me too badly. Then he gave me the shot. I was surprised at how easily it went it and that I didn’t feel much pain. I turned to David afterward and told him he had done a great job. He looked at me funny and said, “I felt like someone was guiding my hand as I put the needle in. That wasn’t me who gave you that shot.” We were both in awe and felt such gratitude that the Lord had guided David’s hand and helped him with that first shot.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: IVF Part 2

While taking my shots and other meds I had regular check-ups to have my blood drawn and to have internal ultrasounds to count and measure my follicles. At first these visits were about every two to three days but by the second week I was going to the doctor every single day. IVF definitely began to consume our lives because of the amount of time spent at the doctor’s office and because of the set schedule we had to maintain in order to take my medication at the same time every night. David and I basically gave up any form of social life we had to be able to stick to our medication schedule.


Once my follicles had reached an appropriate size for retrieval, David gave me a shot of ovidrel to begin my ovulation and two days later we headed down to Charlotte for my egg retrieval surgery. Because extracting the eggs from the ovaries is a painful process, patients are put completely under for the surgery. The procedure was rather short, maybe 30-45 minutes, and then I was wheeled back to my room to rest for a while before going home. Once home I was instructed to stay in bed for the remainder of the day.

There are two variations on what can happen after the egg retrieval. Either the eggs and sperm can be placed in a dish together and allowed to fertilize naturally and/or the embryologist can manually fertilize the eggs with the sperm (this second procedure is known as intracytoplasmic sperm injection or ICSI). In our case, all of the eggs retrieved were manually fertilized using ICSI.

After fertilization the fertilized eggs are kept in a dish to grow outside of the body for about five days. During this time our nurse or embryologist called every couple of days to tell us how many eggs remained alive and healthy since not all retrieved eggs will survive. Overall, we had ten eggs removed and nine of those fertilized. Two days later seven of our eggs were still alive and growing. Two days after that, on our last call before the egg transfer, we were told that all seven were still alive but that only four had continued to grow as expected.

David and I felt good about having four (and possibly seven) good eggs. That left us for sure with two to put in during this transfer and two that could be frozen for next time. However, as we arrived for the transfer procedure we received some bad news. All except two of our eggs had died and of those two only one was really good. I had to work hard not to break down in front of our doctor. It was discouraging news, less so because our eggs had died and more due to the realization that if/when we did IVF again I would have to go through all the shots and doctor’s appointments again because we would have no eggs in storage.

Our doctor explained to us that having so many of our eggs die after fertilization gave her some indication as to perhaps why we were having trouble getting pregnant. She said that it was very possible my eggs were getting fertilized and I was becoming “pregnant.” However, it would appear that once fertilized my eggs died for an unknown reason. Our doctor reminded us that this didn’t mean we couldn’t get pregnant on our own but that, for David and I, it was probably a numbers game and we would simply have a much smaller chance of getting pregnant than a regular couple would have.

Thankfully the IVF clinic was slow the day I had my transfer so David was allowed to be in the room while it took place. It was amazing to watch. There was a monitor showing the embryologist sucking our eggs into the catheter needle and another monitor showing an ultrasound view of my uterus as the fertilized eggs were placed inside me. It was a faith-promoting experience to see the miracles God has provided through modern medicine.

After the transfer you have to be on complete bed rest for at least 48 hours. Complete bed rest means you ONLY get up to use the restroom. David was so good to take care of me during this time. Every morning he set water and food next to my bed so I would have something to eat during the day while he was gone and every night he would bring me dinner and sit with me as we ate together. Ironically, we grew much closer during this time due to the fact that I was completely reliant on him and because we were both working towards the same goal, having a baby.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: IVF Part 1

While Physicians for Women of Greensboro is able to perform all of the blood tests and ultrasounds needed during the IVF process, they do not perform the two actual IVF procedures in-house. Instead they partner with an IVF clinic from Charlotte called REACH. Thankfully, REACH has some of the highest IVF success rates in the Southeast. For patients under the age of 35, REACH has a success rate of 52% as compared to the national average of 44%.

Dr. Teaff and her nurse, Alice, come from Charlotte to Greensboro once a month to meet new IVF patients and to perform some pre-IVF testing. At our first consult David and I had to redo all of the blood tests, plus some additional ones, that I had done during my initial fertility testing. Being the horrible wife that I am I was giddy to hear that David had to have blood taken as well. For so many months I had been the one getting poked and prodded so I was a little too gleeful about David having to be tested. I have one word for you….KARMA.

They took my blood first. After taking 6 vials I was a little woozy so as David sat down to get his blood drawn I went to sit in the waiting room. A few minutes later I passed out. Meanwhile, as David was getting his blood drawn a woman rushed in exclaiming that she needed a nurse because someone had just passed out in the waiting room. David just nodded and said, “Oh, that’s my wife.” When I finally came to I was surrounded by two pregnant women, three nurses, my husband, a terrified two-year-old little girl, and (thankfully) a trash can. Fortunately I received free crackers and orange juice because of it. That made it all worth it.

Another part of the pre-IVF testing is a trial-transfer. During the trial-transfer the doctor pushes a catheter through the cervix and into the uterus to insure there will be no blockages during the actual IVF procedures. After my trial-transfer I met with a financial counselor to go over all our IVF expenses. Considering our procedure totaled around $18,000, David and I were extremely grateful that our insurance covered almost all of that. Finally, before you begin IVF you must also go on birth control pills for one cycle. This is to level out your hormones and egg production so you can begin the IVF process at a common baseline.

Once you have done all the pre-IVF procedures and completed a cycle of birth control pills you are ready to begin your IVF medication. It was this part of the procedure that scared me the most. Seeing all the drugs I had to take, all the shots David had to give me, I began to comprehend the magnitude of what we were about to do and it seemed overwhelmingly daunting. I realized, as much as I wanted a baby, I really wished that I didn’t have to do this. I began to understand that I hadn’t ever done something really difficult throughout my entire life; there was always an easy way out. But for this there was no easy way out and no getting around it no matter how scared I was. I couldn’t fix myself or stop the oncoming wave of shots and surgeries. I realized I needed to be strong but I wasn’t sure I was strong enough.

While our family and friends were extremely supportive, my greatest support throughout my IVF procedures was David. Even though he was scared too, having to watch instructional videos on giving various types of shots both under the skin and intramuscular, learning how to fill syringes, and actually having to give me multiple shots every day, he was always so careful with me to make sure I was doing okay. After every single shot he gave me he told me how good I had done and how proud he was of me. I couldn’t have done it without him and I love him so much for being so wonderful!

Below I’ve included a picture and list of the primary medications I took during IVF as well as a description of each:



HCG: A subcutaneous injection taken once a day for about two weeks used to help maturation of eggs.


Gonal F: A subcutaneous injection taken once a day for about two weeks that stimulates multiple eggs to grow within the follicles on each ovum.

Ganirelix: A subcutaneous injection taken once a day for four to five days that prevents premature ovulation. This medication made me extremely nauseous.

Ovidrel: A subcutaneous injection taken once two days before egg retrieval that forces your body to ovulate.

Progesterone: An intramuscular injection given daily beginning two days after egg retrieval and continuing for a month or two. This shot is in oil form and leaves lumps under your skin that hurt. By the end of taking this shot I could hardly sit down or sleep because it made me so sore. After a month I switched to suppositories because I couldn’t handle taking this shot for another month.

Doxycycline: An antibiotic pill taken after egg retrieval to reduce the risk of infection.