Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: IVF Part 2

While taking my shots and other meds I had regular check-ups to have my blood drawn and to have internal ultrasounds to count and measure my follicles. At first these visits were about every two to three days but by the second week I was going to the doctor every single day. IVF definitely began to consume our lives because of the amount of time spent at the doctor’s office and because of the set schedule we had to maintain in order to take my medication at the same time every night. David and I basically gave up any form of social life we had to be able to stick to our medication schedule.


Once my follicles had reached an appropriate size for retrieval, David gave me a shot of ovidrel to begin my ovulation and two days later we headed down to Charlotte for my egg retrieval surgery. Because extracting the eggs from the ovaries is a painful process, patients are put completely under for the surgery. The procedure was rather short, maybe 30-45 minutes, and then I was wheeled back to my room to rest for a while before going home. Once home I was instructed to stay in bed for the remainder of the day.

There are two variations on what can happen after the egg retrieval. Either the eggs and sperm can be placed in a dish together and allowed to fertilize naturally and/or the embryologist can manually fertilize the eggs with the sperm (this second procedure is known as intracytoplasmic sperm injection or ICSI). In our case, all of the eggs retrieved were manually fertilized using ICSI.

After fertilization the fertilized eggs are kept in a dish to grow outside of the body for about five days. During this time our nurse or embryologist called every couple of days to tell us how many eggs remained alive and healthy since not all retrieved eggs will survive. Overall, we had ten eggs removed and nine of those fertilized. Two days later seven of our eggs were still alive and growing. Two days after that, on our last call before the egg transfer, we were told that all seven were still alive but that only four had continued to grow as expected.

David and I felt good about having four (and possibly seven) good eggs. That left us for sure with two to put in during this transfer and two that could be frozen for next time. However, as we arrived for the transfer procedure we received some bad news. All except two of our eggs had died and of those two only one was really good. I had to work hard not to break down in front of our doctor. It was discouraging news, less so because our eggs had died and more due to the realization that if/when we did IVF again I would have to go through all the shots and doctor’s appointments again because we would have no eggs in storage.

Our doctor explained to us that having so many of our eggs die after fertilization gave her some indication as to perhaps why we were having trouble getting pregnant. She said that it was very possible my eggs were getting fertilized and I was becoming “pregnant.” However, it would appear that once fertilized my eggs died for an unknown reason. Our doctor reminded us that this didn’t mean we couldn’t get pregnant on our own but that, for David and I, it was probably a numbers game and we would simply have a much smaller chance of getting pregnant than a regular couple would have.

Thankfully the IVF clinic was slow the day I had my transfer so David was allowed to be in the room while it took place. It was amazing to watch. There was a monitor showing the embryologist sucking our eggs into the catheter needle and another monitor showing an ultrasound view of my uterus as the fertilized eggs were placed inside me. It was a faith-promoting experience to see the miracles God has provided through modern medicine.

After the transfer you have to be on complete bed rest for at least 48 hours. Complete bed rest means you ONLY get up to use the restroom. David was so good to take care of me during this time. Every morning he set water and food next to my bed so I would have something to eat during the day while he was gone and every night he would bring me dinner and sit with me as we ate together. Ironically, we grew much closer during this time due to the fact that I was completely reliant on him and because we were both working towards the same goal, having a baby.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: IVF Part 1

While Physicians for Women of Greensboro is able to perform all of the blood tests and ultrasounds needed during the IVF process, they do not perform the two actual IVF procedures in-house. Instead they partner with an IVF clinic from Charlotte called REACH. Thankfully, REACH has some of the highest IVF success rates in the Southeast. For patients under the age of 35, REACH has a success rate of 52% as compared to the national average of 44%.

Dr. Teaff and her nurse, Alice, come from Charlotte to Greensboro once a month to meet new IVF patients and to perform some pre-IVF testing. At our first consult David and I had to redo all of the blood tests, plus some additional ones, that I had done during my initial fertility testing. Being the horrible wife that I am I was giddy to hear that David had to have blood taken as well. For so many months I had been the one getting poked and prodded so I was a little too gleeful about David having to be tested. I have one word for you….KARMA.

They took my blood first. After taking 6 vials I was a little woozy so as David sat down to get his blood drawn I went to sit in the waiting room. A few minutes later I passed out. Meanwhile, as David was getting his blood drawn a woman rushed in exclaiming that she needed a nurse because someone had just passed out in the waiting room. David just nodded and said, “Oh, that’s my wife.” When I finally came to I was surrounded by two pregnant women, three nurses, my husband, a terrified two-year-old little girl, and (thankfully) a trash can. Fortunately I received free crackers and orange juice because of it. That made it all worth it.

Another part of the pre-IVF testing is a trial-transfer. During the trial-transfer the doctor pushes a catheter through the cervix and into the uterus to insure there will be no blockages during the actual IVF procedures. After my trial-transfer I met with a financial counselor to go over all our IVF expenses. Considering our procedure totaled around $18,000, David and I were extremely grateful that our insurance covered almost all of that. Finally, before you begin IVF you must also go on birth control pills for one cycle. This is to level out your hormones and egg production so you can begin the IVF process at a common baseline.

Once you have done all the pre-IVF procedures and completed a cycle of birth control pills you are ready to begin your IVF medication. It was this part of the procedure that scared me the most. Seeing all the drugs I had to take, all the shots David had to give me, I began to comprehend the magnitude of what we were about to do and it seemed overwhelmingly daunting. I realized, as much as I wanted a baby, I really wished that I didn’t have to do this. I began to understand that I hadn’t ever done something really difficult throughout my entire life; there was always an easy way out. But for this there was no easy way out and no getting around it no matter how scared I was. I couldn’t fix myself or stop the oncoming wave of shots and surgeries. I realized I needed to be strong but I wasn’t sure I was strong enough.

While our family and friends were extremely supportive, my greatest support throughout my IVF procedures was David. Even though he was scared too, having to watch instructional videos on giving various types of shots both under the skin and intramuscular, learning how to fill syringes, and actually having to give me multiple shots every day, he was always so careful with me to make sure I was doing okay. After every single shot he gave me he told me how good I had done and how proud he was of me. I couldn’t have done it without him and I love him so much for being so wonderful!

Below I’ve included a picture and list of the primary medications I took during IVF as well as a description of each:



HCG: A subcutaneous injection taken once a day for about two weeks used to help maturation of eggs.


Gonal F: A subcutaneous injection taken once a day for about two weeks that stimulates multiple eggs to grow within the follicles on each ovum.

Ganirelix: A subcutaneous injection taken once a day for four to five days that prevents premature ovulation. This medication made me extremely nauseous.

Ovidrel: A subcutaneous injection taken once two days before egg retrieval that forces your body to ovulate.

Progesterone: An intramuscular injection given daily beginning two days after egg retrieval and continuing for a month or two. This shot is in oil form and leaves lumps under your skin that hurt. By the end of taking this shot I could hardly sit down or sleep because it made me so sore. After a month I switched to suppositories because I couldn’t handle taking this shot for another month.

Doxycycline: An antibiotic pill taken after egg retrieval to reduce the risk of infection.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Tender Mercies

{God often grants us the most tender of mercies in the midst of our darkest trials; the difficulty is to notice the light in the darkness.}

“The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works (Psalms 145:9).”

Due to the dismal results of our second clomid cycle as well as some technicalities within our insurance, our doctors decided to move forward with in-vitro fertilization (IVF). (Note: Normally a couple would go through at least three clomid cycles before attempting IVF, usually including an intra-uterine insemination (IUI) during the last clomid cycle. An IUI consists of placing the sperm directly in the fallopian tubes. The difference between IVF and IUI is in IVF both the sperm and ovum are extracted from the body, fertilized, and then put back in the womb as a fertilized egg. With an IUI, there is no fertilization just placement of the sperm.)

It takes several months for your body and your doctors to prepare for IVF. As we waited to begin this process I learned that my grandmother was in the hospital and that she was going to pass away. The family gathered at the hospital and each person had the opportunity to spend a few moments with her before she passed. Unfortunately, being across the country, I was unable to be there. However, as days passed I learned that several members of my family, in their last moments with Grandma Ivins, had told her that her first task in heaven was to get me a baby. Grandma would smile and nod that she understood.

I am so amazed and humbled to be surrounded by such wonderful family members who, in their last moments with their beloved grandma, were thinking of me and my needs.

As you know, our story has a happy ending. As we went through IVF and later found out we were pregnant I have felt my grandmother close at hand and know that she helped give me this baby. Although it is hard to be without her I know the Lord worked through her to bring a new life into this world.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Feeling Grief

{It’s okay to cry sometimes}

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance… (Ecclesiates 3:1, 4).”

There were moments during our struggle with infertility that I just needed to feel sorry for myself or just needed to cry. When those moments came, I would often watch the below video. I feel that it describes many of the feelings I experienced and it also gives some good statistics concerning infertility.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Clomid Cycle #2

{Infertility hurts}

“Woe is me for my hurt! My wound is grievous: but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it (Jeremiah 10:19).”

The distance between thinking you are pregnant and learning you are not is a long drop and was difficult to accept. My frustration was compounded by the fact that we had to wait a month before trying another clomid cycle. At first, I felt unproductive and restless because we weren’t actively moving forward with our fertility treatments. However, after about a week I began to feel relief: relief at not having a doctor’s appointment every week for the first time in months; relief at not being on medication and feeling like myself; relief to focus on me for a little while without feeling guilty.

When our second clomid cycle began both David and I felt refreshed and ready to make this one work.

Unfortunately, our results weren’t good. I had only one viable egg this time and it was on the small side. Additionally, my ovulation results showed that I had ovulated less than I normally did without medication. As stated before, my ovulation numbers aren’t good to begin with so to find out my numbers were lower while using ovulation medication was heartbreaking.

Our doctor’s put me on progesterone to see if that would help stimulate my body to accept a pregnancy but when the test came back two weeks later it was negative.

This moment was my breaking point. I completely broke down. Up until now I had tried to remain positive. I had tried not to fall into the category of feeling like I was broken. But at that moment, seeing my body literally fail me and not do what it was supposed to do, I did feel broken and I hated myself for it.

Even more so, I hated what I couldn’t give David. He wanted a baby more than anything and I couldn’t give that to him because I didn’t “work.” This realization, that I couldn’t give the person I loved something they wanted so much because I was broken, was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced.

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Clomid Cycle #1

After our fertility tests all came back fairly normal, our doctors decided to try us on a cycle of ovulation induction. Ovulation induction consists of taking several medications that cause your ovaries to produce more than one egg. When the eggs are ready, a medication is used to release them within a specific timeframe to help with ovulation and conception. (For more information, I’ve included a description of the medications used during this process at the bottom of this post.)


We were told from the outset that clomid, the primary medication taken during ovulation induction, generally makes you hormonal. When David asked our doctor what to expect, she smiled slyly at him and answered, “We’ll let that be a pleasant surprise.” And, oh, what a pleasant surprise it was!

For me, the medication made it difficult to process questions and to make decisions no matter how small or simple they were. I felt like my brain couldn’t make simple correlations between what was being asked and what the answer to the question was. Additionally, I was angry for no reason and the only way not to lash out at people around me was to be alone. The worst thing about all of these feelings was that I KNEW they were due to the medication and not because of me but I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt out of control.

Unfortunately, my parents ended up being in town the week I began taking clomid. I was so happy to have them here but I felt like a horrible hostess since the meds were making me pretty crazy. One night we headed to Taco Bell and David asked what I wanted to eat. To my medicated mind, his question seemed like a huge task. I felt angry, overwhelmed, and put upon. Additionally, I thought I might hurt the teenage boys goofing off in line in front of us (they are lucky to still be alive today).

All of the side-effects seemed worth it, however, when our doctor told us my body had responded extremely well to the clomid and I had three viable eggs. In fact, my three eggs looked so good our doctor asked us if we wanted to proceed with ovulation since there was a high chance we could have triplets. David and I seriously considered this possibility and prayed about it but, in the end, we knew we needed to proceed with ovulation. If we truly wanted a baby, we had to be grateful for what (or however many) the Lord wanted to give us.

In the days after David gave me the shot of ovidrel to force ovulation I felt pretty horrible. I began getting sick every morning, I was bloated, I began craving random foods, and my appetite changed drastically. In short, I felt like I was pregnant. David and I were sure the medication had worked and we were so happy. For me, that week of thinking we were pregnant was one of the happiest weeks I’d had since starting to try to get pregnant over two years before. It was a relief.

Unfortunately, our pregnancy test came back negative. The ovulation induction hadn’t worked.



Below is a list of the medications used during ovulation induction along with a description of each.

Clomid: Increases egg production within the ovaries. A pill taken once a day for five days.

Tamoxifen: Generally used for cancer patients, tamoxifen helps maintain your uterus lining since a side-effect of clomid is that it thins your lining. (NOTE: Most doctors I’ve heard of only have you take clomid during an ovulation induction. I would recommend asking your doctor if you can pair clomid and tamoxifen if you are thinking of going through this treatment as it strengthens your chances of getting pregnant.) A pill taken once a day for five days.

Follistim: Made from human urine (weird, I know), this shot is only taken to supplement the clomid if your body does not react appropriately to the clomid. I never had to take this.

Ovidrel: Made from Chinese hamster estrogen (I’m completely serious!), this shot forces your body to ovulate. It also makes your ovaries feel like they’re exploding so if you feel that way after taking it, don’t worry, that’s normal!

Ovulation induction is an extremely time sensitive treatment. I’ve included a copy of our instructions below so you can understand how precise and involved you need to be during one of these cycles.

General Ovulation Induction Instructions

• Call the appointment desk when your period begins. You will ask to schedule a BASELINE ULTRASOUND. The visit can be done any time before 2pm and must be done before the 5th day of your cycle. It does not matter if you are still bleeding as long as it is not after the 5th day.

• Day 1 of your cycle is the first day of full flow bleeding. If you are only spotting this is likely NOT day 1. Wait for a full flow bleed.

• Please be sure you do not have extensive vacation plans during the month you are planning to take fertility meds as this may interfere with your treatment. This includes weekend trips.

• We cannot give you a list of appointment dates or times as these are determined on an individual basis according to how you are responding.

Specific Ovulation Induction Instructions

*Each time you have blood/ultrasound tests, you need to call for your results the SAME day for instructions.

1) Take Clomid (brand only) Mon. 5/2 through Fri. 5/6

2) Take Tamofen (generic acceptable) Mon. 5/2 through Fri. 5/6

3) Blood draw on Sun. 5/8 at 7:30 am

4) Call for results in the afternoon for instructions:

     Follistim instructions? If NO go to #5

5) Return for blood work at ______________

     Return for ultrasound at ___________

Lessons Learned While Trying to Have a Baby: Tender Mercies

{God often grants us the most tender of mercies in the midst of our darkest trials; the difficulty is to notice the light in the darkness.}

“The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works (Psalms 145:9).”

A few months before David and I began fertility treatments, I was called to be the relief society president of our ward. It was a daunting calling and, with everything else going on in our lives, I felt inadequate to say the least.

On the Sunday I was set apart by the bishopric, I was feeling extremely vulnerable and unsure of myself. Not only was I young but I felt inexperienced. How could I lead a group of women, most of whom were mothers, when I had no children of my own?

As the bishop placed his hands on my head and set me apart as the relief society president he also gave me a blessing. In the blessing I was told that this calling would assist me in my role as a wife and a mother. Afterwards, my counselors joked that the bishop had made a mistake and I laughed with them but inside I felt hope.

The bishop had no idea of our situation, but the Lord did. My Heavenly Father, through the mouth of my bishop, had strengthened my faith that the Lord was in control and that he had a plan for me. Many may have only seen this as a slip-up or a misspoken word but I know this was a tender mercy bestowed upon me by the Lord.